we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
