my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Randomize
