I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
