i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
