I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
