this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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