My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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