11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
