this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize