I'm so fucking centered right now
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
