Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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