How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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