when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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