I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
