All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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