I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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