shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
