better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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