I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
