Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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