It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
