if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
