I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
