I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize