we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm bleeding and have questions
how does that bad decision feel?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
