I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
