Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
FUCK WHALES
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
