i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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