I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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