I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
