Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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