he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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