and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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