I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
