So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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