did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
