her vagine was all disorganized.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
