I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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