AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
