I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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