I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize