So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
All the doctor said was why
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
