I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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