D3 body, D1 cock
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
