I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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