My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
