Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
