two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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