Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
