so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
