i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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