Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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