How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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