Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
