all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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