I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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