Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
there is glitter all over my balls
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
