did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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